Stop! Put down your cell phone and don't even think about that
casual Facebook message. I know what you're thinking, because I was in
the same boat. The minute I finally
got into the habit of regularly shaving my legs, pre-winter comes
straight out of nowehere and blows right up my skirt. And seeing this
here is Chicago, there is a very good chance the blizzard of '08 will
veto my slutty lobster Halloween costume and I'll be stuck resurrecting
the not-so-slutty unicorn onesie of '92. With wet socks and cold noses
in the not-so-distant future, any self-preserving Chicagoan defaults to
the winter survival tactic second only to those hideous-but-glorious Ugg boots.

A fellow human being. The hibernation instinct overcomes any common
sense, and when the thermostat dips below 50 we find ourselves running
into the arms of the nearest source of body heat. And there's nothing
wrong with that. But combine that particular unbridled urge with my
laziness for going out and meeting anyone new, and I find myself bored,
hiding under the covers and simultaneously scrolling through my recent
contacts and recent memories for that lucky fellah who deserves a second chance at love, with me. (Think Rock of Love 2 without the cat fights)

Seems like a fine idea, right? God knows we all made our summer
mistakes, or just held on too tight to the hope of running into
Christian Bale while he was in town filming Public Enemies, and didn't
want to be tied down in case we did. And now that reality has set in,
and Christian Bale has moved on (sob), it seems like there's no harm in
back-pedaling just a little bit to see if that nice guy who seemed into
it is, in fact, just what the doctor ordered!

Well, ladies and gentleman, do whatever you need to. These are
desperate times (blog on not shacking up with I-Bankers to come). But
let me relay to you a little recap of my recent revisiting experience
to give you some perspective.

Just last week, I found myself shocked awake by a cool breeze
blowing through my wide-open window. Burrowing under my thin blanket
and hugging my ice-cold knees to my chest, I ran through the options in
my head. Buy a down comforter, OR— light a little flame under, well, a past
flame! I mentally ticked through my hookups in the past year. After
ruling out the psychos, the geographically remote, and the guys who had dumped me
(I have some dignity, really) my ticker tape of a love life landed on
Josh. Perfect! Only 6 months since I last saw him, and I bet we could
pick up right where we left off. He was so nice! Intelligent, funny,
equally sporadic work schedule, making him the obvious companion for wintertime weekday mornings like this one! It wasn't his
fault that he liked me at a time in my life when I was only into guys
who didn't like me. What was I thinking breaking it off with him!? Girl, you crazy, I'm thinking to myself, as I flip open my laptop, find him on gchat, and dive right in:

Me: Hey!
Him: Hey…
Me: [small talk]
Him: [small talk]

Pause
Me: so are you seeing anyone?
Him: I am
Me: bugger!
Him: lol, why?
Me: I was going to ask you out!
Him: oh. well, believe it or not, I'm engaged.
Me: haha you're a dirty liar
Him: I'm serious…
Me: …I'm going to go talk to the wall.

Me: oh… and, um…congrats…

jflksjhhlaskjdghs!! Suddenly determined to stay hidden under my thin
blanket forever, that little exchange jolted me back into reality.
Maybe I wasn't so remiss to end that particular relationship. He and I
were simply not in the same place in our lives. While marriage would
certainly provide a [constant] companion by the fireplace, that's not my cup of hot
chocolate for this particular winter. And if you're reading this, Josh,
I wish you all the happiness in the world for all seasons to come. As
for me, I'm going to go unpack my Uggs and trudge on.

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